Do I Know You?

Season 4, Episode 1
September 22, 2008

High five! I think I have just kicked this nasty little habit I developed and I am back on the “sleeping with everything that moves” wagon! Alright! High five!

I admit, my lonely and pathetic readers, I did slip for a moment. I slipped right off the sleeping around wagon and fell right into the “oh, my Barney! I think I love her” mud puddle. But, like any self respecting man (and I do mean MAN) I brushed off my suit, had it dry cleaned and pressed, then used its well-tailored charms to work my way back into the good graces of man many women everywhere.

How did I overcome my tragic dose of feelings? I remembered this, my dear friends:
Why I Like Bimbos, Part 1
1. They make me happy
2. They make me feel alive
3. They make me want to pretend to be a better man
4. They are confused
5. They have vacant, trusting stares
6. They have sluggish, unencumbered minds
7. They have daddy issues
8. They love me, or at least whoever I tell them “me” is
9. They are always there for me, you can always find one around
10. You can usually find one in a thin crust style
11. They make me feel even smarter than I normally do
12. They always have hydrogen peroxide in their cupboards, so if you get a cut, it’s safe to be with one of them
13. Their mouths usually hang open anyways
14. They always let you win at chess…or go fish…or chutes and ladders. And maybe the term isn’t “let you win…”
15. They aren’t Robin
Wait, Say what? How did that get in there?
More reasons I love BIMBOS (and not Robin, because clearly I do NOT love her) are to come…