Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Do I Know You?

Season 4, Episode 1
September 22, 2008

High five! I think I have just kicked this nasty little habit I developed and I am back on the “sleeping with everything that moves” wagon! Alright! High five!

I admit, my lonely and pathetic readers, I did slip for a moment. I slipped right off the sleeping around wagon and fell right into the “oh, my Barney! I think I love her” mud puddle. But, like any self respecting man (and I do mean MAN) I brushed off my suit, had it dry cleaned and pressed, then used its well-tailored charms to work my way back into the good graces of man many women everywhere.

How did I overcome my tragic dose of feelings? I remembered this, my dear friends:
Why I Like Bimbos, Part 1
They make me happy
They make me feel alive
They make me want to pretend to be a better man
They are confused
They have vacant, trusting stares
They have sluggish, unencumbered minds
They have daddy issues
They love me, or at least whoever I tell them “me” is
They are always there for me, you can always find one around
You can usually find one in a thin crust style
They make me feel even smarter than I normally do
They always have hydrogen peroxide in their cupboards, so if you get a cut, it’s safe to be with one of them
Their mouths usually hang open anyways
They always let you win at chess…or go fish…or chutes and ladders. And maybe the term isn’t “let you win…”
They aren’t Robin
Wait, Say what? How did that get in there?
More reasons I love BIMBOS (and not Robin, because clearly I do NOT love her) are to come…