Friday, February 15, 2008

The Duel

Season 1, Episode 8
November 14, 2005

My Dear Hotties and (Not So) Competition:
I henceforth declare the following- From this moment on, there shall exists in the world of dating and mating a Lemon Law, which for copyright purposes shall be dubbed "The Barney Law."

It shall opperate on the following conditions: all persons involved in a mutually decided upon date have exactly 5 minutes from the moment of meeting to decide if the date will procede for the rest of the night or not. Within the first five minutes of coming together (high five!) either party can call the date off for any reason.

Thus signed,
Your Minister of Pimp
Barney Stinson

Yeah, you read it right. I intelligently and dutifully created the dating lemon law. I was just so sick of ending up spending time and money on uglies, prudes, dudes dressed at chicks and, worst of all, old chicks. In the first week of its creation I was able to use it twice, and...get this...had it used on me! It is working, pass it on.

Now, you may say "But Barney, I don't want someone Barney Lawing me. How could you take it?"

Easy. The chick who used it on me did so because I called her Jackie OOOOHHHH YESS! Clearly she did not recognize the wonderful humor in it because she didn't understand the pure ecstasy, since I would have been the first man who could have made her say it. Oh well, it teaches you to use the law with caution!

As for you being rejected...well you probably suck and aren't cool like me. Expect to have the law used against you. In time you will learn to be dead inside and not care.

Barney Law on, my followers!


Madhur Kabra said...

Stroke of a genius, evil mastermind!
Take a bow, Barney!

Bradders said...

A MIGHTY law Barney
as ever a name given to a casue, with it stated like that it wills urely assit me in my crusades into the singles of Britannya slutty elite.

old? as in...30? why bother?!
i shall be scoring the sweet totty
(thats hotties over here)
when i am old and grey
this law shall save me decades in the long run

good call