Season 1, Episode 8
November 14, 2005
My Dear Hotties and (Not So) Competition:
I henceforth declare the following- From this moment on, there shall exists in the world of dating and mating a Lemon Law, which for copyright purposes shall be dubbed "The Barney Law."
It shall opperate on the following conditions: all persons involved in a mutually decided upon date have exactly 5 minutes from the moment of meeting to decide if the date will procede for the rest of the night or not. Within the first five minutes of coming together (high five!) either party can call the date off for any reason.
Your Minister of Pimp
Yeah, you read it right. I intelligently and dutifully created the dating lemon law. I was just so sick of ending up spending time and money on uglies, prudes, dudes dressed at chicks and, worst of all, old chicks. In the first week of its creation I was able to use it twice, and...get this...had it used on me! It is working, pass it on.
Now, you may say "But Barney, I don't want someone Barney Lawing me. How could you take it?"
Easy. The chick who used it on me did so because I called her Jackie OOOOHHHH YESS! Clearly she did not recognize the wonderful humor in it because she didn't understand the pure ecstasy, since I would have been the first man who could have made her say it. Oh well, it teaches you to use the law with caution!
As for you being rejected...well you probably suck and aren't cool like me. Expect to have the law used against you. In time you will learn to be dead inside and not care.
Barney Law on, my followers!