Friday, February 15, 2008

Zip, Zip, Zip

Season 1, Episode 14
February 6, 2006

This weekend was filled with ups and downs here at the fortress of Barnitude. My friend Ted (really, I don;t get why I feel the need to write about this dude. He doesn't even wear suits) got himself a girlfriend. next thing I know, he abandons me for a little cupcake. No, for once that wasn't sexual, she is a baker and he is litterally abandoning me for cupcakes. Well, and the nasty.

Point being, I was super low, realizing I was al alone this weekend.

Down- Ted left me for a girl who actually uses whipped cream for its intended purpose.

Up- Then our friend Robbin said she would come with me for my bro'ings on about town.

Down- Robin is Canadian.

Up- She is smoking hot and even better when she (wait for it) suited up! Yes ladies, you too can suit up with positive results! So Robin and I had a great time being bro's. I even almost got her to hook up with a lesbian! Oh ya! High Five!

Down- when I birthday suited up at Robin's request, I discovered that "playing battleship" is only a euphemism in the good ol' US of A, since this Canadian chick actually...get this...wanted to play battle ship. Left my little, scratch that, BIG Barney cold and sunk.

Up- I'm me and I'm awesome and legen-dary. Done.

True Story- So after I left Robin, who claims she has "feelings" for Ted (gag me, right?) I stopped to comfort this poor girl who was crying on the stoop of the apartment building next door. Until I kicked her out of my bed at about 3 in the morning, she was looking very comfortable! Ya, I'm real down about Robin. Ha.

Barnacle out!


Bradders said...

canadian, we have a little country like that, pathetic really no real army of economy known by the locals as SCOOOOTLAARRRND!

i could only imagin the disapointment to spend an evening with one.

i tell you waht barney i'll use my strings in the Eurostates to get her ajob over here!
the long distance thing wills urely break them up!

your BEST freind Bradders

got ya back bro

I-am-Niamh said...

LEGEN- waiit for it... keep waiting... DARY!