Season 1, Episode 3
October 3, 2005
As I had to explain to my dear friend Ted the other day, sometimes you have to take action in order to get action. The cornucopia of fun does not go to those who do not try to pick the fruits. Please, remember this the next time you go to McClaren's (or whatever your normal dive is): Chicks dig the unkown. Do something new and be the unkown. Get your Happiness, whether it be a 21 year old in a mini skirt or a lick of a large oxidized bell.
"Look, our forefathers died for the 'pursuit of happiness,' okay? Not for the 'sit around and wait of happiness.' Now if you want, we can go to the same bar, drink the same beer, talk to the same people every day or you can lick the Liberty Bell. You can grab life by the crack and lick the crap out of it."