Friday, February 22, 2008

Life Among the Gorillas

Season 1, Episode 17
March 20, 2006


Steak Sauce: Phenomenal, top-notch. Etymology: Derived from the dominance of steak sauce brand A-1.
Conform: To learn to fit in and make friends. To not conform is to be dismissed and rejected.

This is going to be legen-wait for it-dary! My awesome friend Marshall started working in our legal department here at work today. I had to take some time to incorporate him into the corporate atmosphere, but I think he's getting it now. At first he didn't even know the above definitions. Duh. Where is he from? Canada?

He also didn't get the office bonding ritual of "who would you rather...go!" Oh, you're not awesome enough to have heard of it? Here, try this one on.

It's snowing outside, and you are sitting warm near your fireplace on your bear skin rug. Knocky Knocky, your front doors a rocky when Jennifer Anniston asks to come in from the cold, and body heat is the only answer. Just as you are about to let her in, your back door starts pounding cuz jennifer Love Hewitt wants in too. Ohh, 2 Jennifers, 1 rug. What do you do? Go!

Wrong Answers: I don’t have a bear skin rug, I don't have a back door, I’m engaged, We’re still engaged, They need to wait while I run to the store for some "rain coats."
Acceptable answers: That girl from Friends, The Hottie who only LOOKS like jail bait, Both, Oh that's so boring cuz I had Jennifer Lopez and Jennifer Garner last week, I would call Barney and let him have his awesomeness with both of them.


Jigar Doshi said...

Hey man Awsome blog .. keep posting .. its real fun to read this :)

Bradders said...

Right answer :
you insist the only way you acn survive jenny.... is that you and jenifer are on the rug, women generate more heat then men, especialy ones of your hawtness!
obviously your suit will keep you warm but the 2 naked "sexy jennys"
will be shimmering and golden warmth of the firelight!
eventully their erge will take over and begin to "make love" (whatever the hell that is - pretty sure its how women say casual sex) they, being amsters of the seductual and lustful art of foreplay will be in dizzing desire and pleasure as you stand proudly overhead suit on of course, then they will halt there romp! and turn their desire filled heads to your glorious perfection of man!
looking down not with jelousy or want but contentment! the two spicied up jenifers would realise this sexual experince would not be worth a second without your presteiges award ;)
and insist nay BEG for your participation
"im sorry lady's" you shallr eply
"all i have is my ex's old bed whom i cannot simply get over for anyone"
their persintant lust for you contioues you let them know
"that you beleive they are special enough"
and you haev crazy threesome love with 3 hotties jenifier a jenifer H and JJJJEEEEEEESSUS THIS IS AWESOME!

you see this not only follows suit on the allowing them to beleive they are special to you(whatever special means) that you are single ;) and also! that there is never a
who would you rather answer that can ever be right unless it involves both parties!!!

if you cant think of one you simply arnt awesome enough.

if im ever in the colanies Barney i'll bes ure to buy you a beer...your friend needs help i surgest convincing him peer preasure is the right way to go!!
whats his wife goiong to do xD like she'd haev any experice with that sort of thing!